Living Abroad Reflections: Part 2

Hi friends,

August 29th, marks my one year anniversary in Paris! I really can’t believe a whole year has passed me by already. Now that I’ve gotten into a routine at my internship, established a solid circle of friends, settled into my apartment, and gotten approved for a student visa extension for early 2024, I feel like I’ve established a solid foundation for my life abroad.

Every so often, friends back home ask me if Paris has started to feel like home and to answer them, I’d say I’d simply say yes. Anyone whose moved can relate to the notion that home is not a place but a feeling. The friends that I’ve made here in Paris are everything. They are the reason why I feel at home here and it’s because of them my experiences abroad have been rich with adventures and new experiences.

*Going away cards I made for all my friends and family*

After one year abroad, I feel like I am still in a state of transition and settling. Not yet a seasoned expat/world traveler and not yet a local, I would say I fall somewhere in between. For the first time in my life, I spent less time in LA surrounded by all that’s familiar and more time immersed in a country where I’m only discovering the tip of the iceberg when it comes to understanding a whole new way of life.

So with that being said, here are some of my top five lessons that I learned during my first year abroad:

Lesson 1: Budgeting is your best friend

Whether you use an app or just simply write everything out, budgeting can be the difference between being able to sleep at night or not. If you are a student, you can apply for CAF (student housing aid) provided by the government but chances are it’s only enough to help pay for utilities or groceries for a week or two.

Budgeting is a normal part of adulting. It’s not glamours nor fun but it is a way to understand yourself, your options, and your priorities.

Lesson 2: Learning French is more than just learning French

Learning a language is about understanding the culture, mindset, and values of the local people. It is the greatest way to show empathy and appreciation as a foreigner. It’s also the best way to achieve autonomy. A big part of my child-like disposition comes from the fact that I still have to rely on others to translate things for me or speak on my behalf because I’m not yet fluent. Most of the times I can go through my daily life without facing any language barriers but when there’s an administrative issue or occasional household serving request, chances are I need someone to help me translate.

In all honesty, I would have liked to be more comfortable speaking French after living abroad for one year and it’s my own fault for not prioritizing it as much as I should have. Nevertheless, I will say that anything counts when it comes to learning a language. Ordering at a restaurant, asking for help at a store, or spending two minutes on Duolingo are better than nothing. I even participated in language exchanges with other students at my school. It’s was a nice way to test the waters with conversational French and explore cultural norms.

From ordering a baguette at my local boulangerie to explaining my whereabouts to a delivery driver, it’s the small exchanges in French that give me so much positive reinforcement. It’s a start and with more time, I aspire to increase my fluency.

Lesson 3: Friends are your chosen family

I know I mentioned this already but I cannot stress enough how important it is to find your people. More than anything else, my friends are what helped me get through administrative issues, navigate a new school, discover new places, and exposed me to new worlds I didn’t even know existed. Overall, I think I got lucky with the friends that I’ve made so far but for anyone whose still looking to make friends abroad simply do whatever interests you the most and likeminded people are sure to follow.

Hosting is also a great way to bond with new friends, create community, and find common interests. It’s been a while since I’ve hosted anything but I would definitely like to host something before the end of the summer.

Lesson 4: Cooking is good for the soul

Back in LA, I mainly cooked on Sundays for meal prepping but now that I live on my own, I cook for every meal. Since I hate eating the same thing all the time, I created a little list of the meals I want to eat for the week so that I can buy groceries accordingly. It’s a bit of a lifestyle shift to have to carry all of my groceries but it makes me more conscious about what I buy and less likely to waste food.

To me, it’s really exciting to try a new recipe or improvise on an existing one to create something new. I love challenging myself in the kitchen and I think that cooking is a great way to feel creative during the week. Cooking is also a nice way for me to unplug. By cooking for a few hours a week, I’m spending less time on my phone or in front of a screen. I can feel present for the moment and enjoy the ritual of self-care through food.

Lesson 5: Politeness is key

Before I moved, I did a bunch of research on the social norms and interactions between French people. It was super important to me that I always be polite to create a good first impression and to try to minimize the cliches I might carry as an American. Despite my similarities to Emily in Paris, I want to blend in rather than stand out. These are some of the ways I learned to be polite in France:

Always start any interaction with bonjour/bonsoir. Whether you’re entering a store or walking past a neighbor, a simple bonjour in passing shows polite acknowledgement. I cannot stress enough how important this is especially when you want to ask a question.
Be conscious of your volume. I realize why foreigners think Americans are loud is because many public spaces are typically on the quieter end. During the off hours on the metro, there can be little shouting or talking, so when someone gets on the metro and talks loudly, it really stands out. Of course, there are times when it gets loud in the metro or in other public spaces like restaurants or bars, but for the most part, I’ve found that people in public spaces speak in a lower volume.
Always stand to the right on the escalator. The left side is for passing. I didn’t know this before moving to France and I’m still not sure why this is not a universal rule everywhere.
When leaving a store, be sure to politely say good-bye. A simple merci au revior will do in most cases.
Rarely are meals eaten with your hands. American meals and fast-food tends to be an exception but for the most part, meals are eaten with utensils. If you find yourself at a picnic or eating a side of French fries, these are of course eaten with your hands.
In French there are two approaches: formal (tu) and informal (vous). When in doubt, use the formal version.

Et voila! This sums up my series of lessons I learned during my time abroad. I still have so much to learn, so many places I still want to go visit, and many more people I’m sure I’ll meet in the process. Many thanks to my family and friends, both abroad and in Paris, for supporting me through my first year in France. Adulting is hard enough as it is but living in a foreign country makes everything ten times harder. Despite all the challenges I faced, my time in Paris has been so fulfilling, rewarding, and surreal. I don’t take it for granted that I was able to make my dreams comes true. Though no place is perfect, I can absolutely say that Paris feels like home and I’m looking forward to another year of discovery.

à bientôt!

xx

Kiana

ps: I wrote a blog post featuring my reflections after my first semester abroad. Many of the pieces of advice I shared there still very much apply to anyone whose thinking of living abroad. Discover more here.

Living Abroad Reflections: Part 2

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