Signs of Spring
Hi friends,
It’s been a while since I’ve last written. I came back to Paris in the middle of January after the holiday rush. During one of my jet lagged nights, I woke up at 4am to a light dusting of snow outside. For a LA girl like me, it was magical, almost dream-like, seeing all the streets and cars covered with a powder-sugar dusting of snow.
Winter dragged on endlessly through the months of February and March. Seasonal depression began to seep in as the days rolled on together like an endless dark haze. Spring felt like a far away fantasy and my heating pad was something I look forward to every night to fall asleep.
At first, the signs of spring were subtle. Small light pink flowers bloomed out of a leafy plant on my balcony then cherry blossoms started to appear on the trees near the canal. Followed by magnolia blooms in the Royal Palace Garden and lastly, the unveiling of fresh leaves on the trees outside my room. Sunlight began to creep into my room in the mornings but it was brief and inconsistent. I remember the first full day of sun in Paris felt like a vacation and it also felt like the first day I could see the pores on my skin for the first time in months.
It might sound dramatic for an Angeleno who takes sun and blue skies for granted, but for me spring truly feels like a new beginning.
Spring marks so many things both literally and symbolically for me. Spring marks the start of a new lifestyle in Paris when the sun sets after 9pm and every park, terrace, and night club is filled to the brim with people. Canal Saint-Martin, one of my favorite neighborhood spots, is lined with people drinking, chatting in all different languages, playing music, eating, and laughing. I tell my friends back home that this is the spot that feels the most ‘European’ to me: something between a scene out of a movie and a painting of people living in the moment.
Spring also marks the arrival of my birthday. This month, I’ll be organizing a small gathering with friends I’ve met from all different chapters of my new life abroad. From only knowing one person in Paris to having multiple circles of friends from so many different parts of the world, I feel really lucky to have strong support system. Life as an expat is constantly chaotic and confusing so it’s important to have a sense of community and a way to bond with people.
With the start of a new season and my birthday coming up, I’ve been experiencing some growing pains. For the most part, I’m happy and grateful to be living in Paris. Life abroad is everything I wanted it to be and more and I wouldn’t change anything. But these past few months looking for a new job and trying to figure out my next move has been difficult and I feel like I’ve been throwing everything up against the wall to see what sticks. In the past, I’ve put everything else on pause as I try to find answers for my next professional move but this year, I wanted to make an effort to try something different and do everything that I think will make me happy. Maintaining friendships, going on dates, meeting new people, and allowing myself time to be creative are still integral to my overall well-being. Though it’s true that the uncertainty of my future haunts me everyday like the gloom of winter, I’m trying to stay positive and open-minded for the possibilities that the future might hold.
Between looking to the universe for answers and dreaming about having a stable job again, I suppose this is what adulthood looks like. Only I’ve chosen to make it extra challenging by starting from scratch in a foreign country. For those back home wondering, yes my French is getting better. No, I’m not fluent yet…
En fait, je comprend plus français maintenent. Mais c’est vrais je ne sais pas tout des mots en français. Je sais je suis un peu fleme quand je besoin apprendre français mais je sais si je travaille et habite ici, je besoin comprend français très bien. J’adore parle français mais je me sens très timide et je sais c’est quelle que chose je besoin reparer. C’est plus dificile que j’ai pense pour apprendre un langue nueve. C’est sympa et interestant mais j’ai faut essayer plus tous les jours.
*Désolé pour les errors à l'avance
Á bientôt!
Bisous
Kiana
PS: I graduated from my Masters program in Luxury and Design Management in March! The ceremony was long and oddly similar to an American one. Keep an eye out for out for a look inside my life as a student on the vlog.