2022 Reflections
Hi friends,
As another year comes to a close, I wanted to take some time to reflect on some of the lessons I learned this past year. As many of you might know from following my blog, in August I quit my job, moved to Paris, and enrolled in a Masters program focusing on Luxury and Design Management. The entire process of moving abroad took nine months from researching which program would be the right fit, applying for a visa, and securing housing (which of course did not stick the first time anyways). During this time, I was also grappling with a lot of internal conflict debating whether it was the right choice for me and trying to come to terms with defining my own sense of happiness. Financially, emotionally, and psychologically, moving abroad has tested every aspect of my life but despite everything I went through, I wouldn’t have it any other way. These are the life lessons I learned during my first semester abroad:
My first meal in Paris was lunch at La Rose de France.
There’s no such thing as being over prepared but there is such thing as psyching yourself out. If you were to ask any of my friends, they’d tell you that I am the most Type A, well planned type of human being. So naturally when it came to moving abroad, I made sure no stone was left unturned. I made google docs filled with expat notes, interviews from friends, and processes I found online covering everything from my visa application, school options, housing search, health insurance and more. I watched hours of videos of American vloggers who made their Emily in Paris dreams come true by moving abroad and creating new lives for themselves. I asked every friend I knew who chose to study abroad about their experiences, what they would have done differently, and what challenges they faced along the way. Ultimately, my dear friend in Paris, Alexiane and I would have monthly Facetime sessions so I could ask her questions about life in Paris and how to navigate the seemingly endless assortment of administrational tasks.
Even she was convinced I did everything humanly possible to ensure my life in Paris, but in the end nearly everything that could have gone wrong went astray. From my housing falling through to bedbugs to my school’s start date changing, I was left scrambling to establish a sense of normalcy and security in Paris during my first few months. Because of all of the chaos, I really didn’t have time to panic or cry (though I did only once in the Lourve). All of the uncertainty that was thrusted upon me during my first week abroad was a test of sink or swim. I had fought too hard and invested too much money to go back to LA with my crushed dreams, but ultimately I felt that it was the universe that decided for me.
It’s true that in the darkest of days, life can find a way of working itself out. Now, nearly four months later, I have a few amazing group of friends, I love my living situation, and I even managed to help a designer friend with his brand. In many ways, my first semester abroad was better than I even could have imagined. Having a limited knowledge of French, I was really worried about my ability to make friends. Again, I can’t stress enough how many American expat vloggers mentioned how hard it was for them to make friends in France so I never assumed that I would fair any better. But as luck would have it, the people I’ve met have all been kinder and more patient than I expected. The friends I’ve made so far have made Paris feel like home and for that reason alone I have yet to feel homesick.
2. Save every penny. Be frugal.
Personal finances are exactly that, personal, but if I can share anything useful it is to budget more for food than you think you need. I definitely did not budget enough for food and groceries. Going out to cute coffees and bakeries adds up as well so if I were to approach my budgeting differently, I would allocate more money to food. Especially in the winter when the sudden urge to eat all of the time to stay warm hits hard.
To try to stay within budget, I don’t use any special app (though I probably should). As of now I simply add up everything together every time I grocery shop or go out to eat. I will even add up everything at the grocery store before I check out to try to ensure I’m not buying things I don’t need or are out of budget. Overall, food is more expensive in Paris because the portion sizes are so small so I try to be mindful when getting groceries for the week.
3. Say yes.
With new experiences around every corner, I try to say yes to everything within reason. But as an extroverted introvert, going out has not always been my thing.
Over time what I realized is actually going out in LA was less appealing to me than going out in Paris. In Paris, it’s fairly easy to hop around the city by metro and pretty safe to walk home in some cases. The whole process of fighting for parking only having to pay an arm and a leg for it, is just not a thing in a walkable city like Paris. Just knowing that I can safely go home at any time on my own makes going out far less anxiety driven than it tended to be for me back home. As a result, I felt more inclined to say yes to going out during these past few months. Also, I should add that the friends I’ve made all make me feel incredibly safe. So it goes without saying that the right company is key.
Fontaine Médicis in the fall.
4. Be patient when it comes to finding romance.
The most asked question I get from friends back home is if I’m dating anyone. To which I have learned now to jokingly reply that my boyfriend hunt has been mainly unsuccessful. This time around, it’s not for my lack of trying as I have already admitted to close friends that at the rate I’m currently going at on dating apps, I would have casted a virtual net in nearly every pool. I figured the wider the net, the better the options. Nothing has yet to be proven.
Jokes aside though, my approach towards dating has not really changed despite my new life abroad. I definitely was a bit more eager to meet someone and fall in love in the beginning but as anyone would know, being on dating apps can be draining and I can only take so much. So in the meantime, as my virtual profile floats in cyberspace, I’m hopeful that universe has a plan. Afterall, it was fate that landed me my first apartment in Paris. A new romance is only a matter of time.
5. Building community will do wonders.
As I’ve mentioned, more than anything else I was worried about making friends abroad. Would people be excited or uninterested by my American personality? Would I find acceptance in French society or find myself an outcast?
A few of my friends back home told me that by simply attending a school where people chose to attend, I would find at least some likeminded people to befriend. They were right of course. Within my first few weeks at school, I had already befriended a bunch of exchange and international students who like me also sought a new adventure abroad and were eager to discover what Parisian life had to offer. As months went by, we commiserated though through our studies and culture shocks. We leaned on each other for support and filled our time making the most out of each challenge. Due to my lucky housing situation, I was able to host my dear friends for several celebratory gatherings including a housewarming party, Friendsgiving, and cookie decorating party. Nothing brings me more joy in life than bringing people together and celebrating friendship.
Thanks to Instagram, I also befriended a local designer named Raphael in Paris. After becoming close with his intern, Louise, who I wrote a separate blog post about showcasing her talents as a designer, we decided to help Raphael throw an open studio event to showcase the brand, create community, and develop relationship with buyers and press. We worked for three weeks on the event together making a guest list, developing tote bags, and finalizing every last detail in the studio space. Through spending so much time together, the three of us developed a strong friendship that to this day brings me so much happiness. Supporting my creative friends is one of the most fulfilling experiences and I am so excited for everything coming to RAPHAEL DE LACROIX next year.
6. Take the plunge.
Though my future endeavors in Paris are uncertain for the coming year, I don’t regret the bet I took on myself to move abroad. With new challenges come new opportunities and I’m planning on embracing this next semester with everything I’ve learned from the past year. Of course there have been many “pinch me” moments between museum hopping in Paris and tasting champagne with my classmates but there were also long periods of anxiety, confusion, frustration, and even doubt. Moving abroad has tested me in ways I didn’t even know were possible; not to mention that my level of French is still embarrassingly low. Nevertheless, with a little bit of luck and my over-prepared tendencies, I’ve managed to survive my first semester abroad and I would tell anyone who is interested in doing the same that yes, it’s worth it if only to finally know another life and another version of yourself.
As always, if you’ve gotten this far, thank you so much for taking the time to read my latest blog post. I know I''m extremely behind now on sharing a new vlog update but I assure you, new things are coming! If you have any questions about my life abroad or anything I’ve mentioned in this post, feel free to leave a comment down below or send me a DM on Instagram.
If you’ve been following me for a while now, thank you so much for your support and if you’re new here, welcome! Wishing you a lovely holiday season and magical New Year 🤍
xx
Kiana
